This is a post dedicated to my new "virtual" friend, Angele:

Relationships between people of opposite sex are a tough topic. There is some natural interest there, but to varying degrees. It's not simply an on or off, yes or no thing, but more, "I kinda like this person, and that person's alright, and he/she's pretty cool, and so and so is hot, and someone else is fun, etc., etc." And of course in many cases what is felt by one person toward another is quite different than how the latter person feels about the former. Additionally, feelings go back and forth at different times, and then to make it even more complicated than that, people have different ways of communicating how they feel. One person can think that they're obviously showing that they like another, while that person is totally clueless. However, they may be doing things unintentionally which make the first person think that they do like them as well.

What can we do? Well, first of all I think try and chill out and not assume too much. I know that for a long time it seems that I've mostly heard girls complain about guys hitting on them (or whatever). I've never wanted to come across that way, so I've always been afraid to say or do much of anything, because I was afraid that it'd be taken the wrong way. Now I've decided that I don't want to be like that. If I want to compliment someone I will, and not be too concerned about it. If you think a guy is showing interest in you, if your interested you can show interest back and if you're not, just continue being yourself. If they are interested, let them say so. If your interested to, but it goes a long time without any progression, then ask. (Note, in my experience, it seems it takes guys longer to figure out and make a decision about what they think than it does for the girl, so you may have to have some patience here.) The point is, I don't want to be overly worried about how someone else is going to think. Guys can certainly be difficult for girls, and unfortunately often just outright bad news. In general though, they tend to be tougher and denser, which means that they're harder to hurt (that may be part of the reason girls sometimes find them easier to be friends with than other girls). At the same time, because of that, they're also more likely to hurt you, whether intentional or not. I think that's part of the reason girls find relationships harder.

So, I agree people shouldn't act like they're interested in someone if they aren't, and I don't think people should "go out" just for the heck of it. However, I also don't like being in groups where it seems everyone is so uptight about not giving people the wrong idea, etc., that the interactions are awkward. For me personally at least, I enjoy being able to be a bit flirtatious at times. However I don't feel comfortable doing it in a context where I think people are going to be put off by it. It's like, "Don't take it so seriously." It's not that I don't mean what I say, or that I don't think you're a cool person, I just mean that just because I think you're cool, doesn't necessarily mean I want to date you (or whatever).

It's tough because yeah, we don't want to waste our time in a relationship that isn't going anywhere. We don't want to have our hearts broken by falling for the wrong person, or liking someone who doesn't feel the same way back. We'd like to just skip all of that and wait for the right person and have everything go perfectly. But the problem is, we aren't going to have someone walk up and say, "Hi, I'm the one." They aren't going to have a sign above their head to tell you, and you're not going to have a vision to tell you who it is. So how do we figure out? That is the big question. Yes, there are certain things we should look for, and certain things which we shouldn't settle without. However, there is no perfect match, and then beyond that our feelings sometimes don't align with our thoughts, and they can be terribly difficult to control at times. It isn't easy, and there's no guarantee. We can and should be careful, but at some point we have to take a risk if we're going to try at all. And despite feelings and appearances, it may not be right, and we may get hurt. But we will never have the chance of experiencing the rewards of a relationship if we never take a risk. So my advice: be smart, go slow, don't freak out, but be open.