What is real?
I don't want to play a game.
There is so much here that is
fantasy, fiction, manufactured, lies.
I don't want to give in,
but how can I escape?
Am I too afraid to try?
As miserable as it sometimes seems,
I am comfortable here.
As discontent as I become,
it feel secure.
I'd like to break out—
is there any hope?
Or am I alone left to cope?

I'm lonely but satisfied, gloomy but content.
You're the only one I have left
I need you, but you've got your own life—
and that's not wrong—but what am I to do?
My friends have left, or was I a friend to begin with?
Probably not.
Now I'm trying to get away,
to at least get some peace and solitude
for the open sore on my heart is bleeding
and I grieve at all the city lights.
I desperately want to find my place
I'm dying—where are you?
I guess you're happy and doing just fine
I want someone to share with,
but I don't think you'd understand
Many would be scarred, push me away and condemn.
Others, with a superficial smile will say,
"Oh it'll pass, cheer up!"
I can tell we don't connect,
but you don't even notice I'm hurting.
God give me your peace, heal my heart,
teach me to be a friend, lead me in your path.
Shall I just concede that I'll never find peace here,
that I'll be a restless heart forever?
For I am an alien from another land.

Most of my life, I try to forget the pain
Most of my life is a struggle not to be reminded
I don't want to be reminded
I don't want to think about it
I try to shut it out, shut it off
I'm not intending to become cold
but there's too much pain to handle
I can't help you—all of you
Would you drag me down to be with you?
I've been there; I know the reality of pain
I don't want to live there if I can escape
Even if it means just pretending everything's alright

I am evil, and my heart is defective
I don't like myself, I don't feel I can stand anymore
tears pour out all of my strength
I'm down and I can't move

Can you reach me?
Can you sustain me?
Are you good?
Can I have any hope?

My mind is melting and I can't feel anything
It's been so long since the numbness set in
Now I lay here waiting for you
There's nothing else I can do

Clear my head, make me feel again

All I really wanted was a hug
I don't want your body
I don't want your kiss
I don't want to go out
I don't want lots of gifts

All I really want is a hug
a simple jester to let me know
that we are as close as friends
and to know you really care

Came to the corner to sing praise to God
but what spirit showed up tonight?
I can here you from a mile away
telling me I need to be saved
You're right, I'll stay away from this stench
Go ahead and stand on your soapbox
tell people that they're bad and going to hell
Just don't include me in it
Where's the love in this noise?
I know it's your job to save the world
So get in their face and don't let them say a word
Meanwhile I'm going to look to Christ
and try to live my life in his shadow
Beat your drum ever faster,
show the world how obnoxious you can be
I know the drunkards can relate